My recent daring dip (see latest Twitters) has prompted some thoughts on pool props.
Aside from the usual lilos, balls and sundry inflatable animals to play with in the pool there are other various necessities for the well equipped piscine. Those of you who frequent aquarobics classes will be very familiar with these:
- for frog impressions you will need aqua mitts (they also help to keep your hands marginally warmer when swimming in sub-arctic conditions and increase resistance for arm exercises)
- for wannabe divers you will need a wetsuit (also vital when swimming in March – see above. Note – this is only ever done by Brits and regarded with absolute disbelief and horror by French neighbours. However it is crucial to maintain the reputation of British eccentricity.)
- noodles (not the edible type as they tend to disintegrate in the pool) are great fun for balance and buoyancy and come in a variety of suitably garish colours. They are also known as woggles and also to my friend Sue as Franks. The derivation of this term is best explained by Sue after the watershed.
- aqua dumbells which are another exercise resistance aid for arm exercises, not a reference to intellectually challenged beauties.
- ankle weights – again a resistance aid rather than something found in the type of catalogue that arrives in a brown paper cover. One tip here – do not purchase the ones that need filling with water. First of all it is impossible to gauge equal amounts as you fill them – this is rather important if you don’t want to end up with one leg worthy of Arnold Swarzenegger and the other belonging to the proverbial 8 stone weakling. If you put on one and then try to fill the other you will probably keel over and risk drowning. If you overestimate the amount of water in both you may never make it out of the pool again without the embarrassment of calling for assistance. So yes – I threw them away!
After all this exhausting talk of exercise I realise that there is one piece of pool furniture that I definitely need to put on my shopping list: a small inflatable tropical-looking island complete with parasol where you can lie back and sip a pina colada while soaking up the rays. I know I’ve seen one in a catalogue somewhere……