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The Barbecue Fairy

Written on Friday, September 3rd, 2010 at 10:43 pm

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Let’s mark another summer of people-watching in Chateau Colombier – and elsewhere – with a slightly tongue-in-cheek meta-psychological blog.

This blog also marks my trademarking all rights to the concept of “The Barbecue Fairy” in the hope that this will make me enough money that the consequences of the seemingly deep-rooted belief in the existence of the BBQ Fairy will therefore no longer concern me. But in the meantime … let’s philosophise a little.

Who is the BBQ Fairy? What does she do? How is the belief in her existence manifested? Is this belief a symptom of deep psychological pathological flaws – or merely a self-serving delusion that is a fundamental building block of the human existence?

What is the relationship between the BBQ Fairy and other constructs such as the Tooth Fairy and Father Christmas. We’ll leave God out of it. But we’ll allow myths, legends and archetypes.

Here we have to acknowledge that the world divides into three: those who believe absolutely in the existence of the BBQ fairy – and their total life experience confirms her transcendental presence. Then there are those who have ceased on a conscious level to believe in her – but continue to act as if she exists. And lo and behold – with uncanny regularity her actions manifest themselves in their lives.

And what of the third category? The non-believers. What of them? Where do we find them? What is their role in this universal phenomenum? Well, perhaps they hold onto the greatest delusion of all. They believe that they are the BBQ fairy; and that the world will fall apart without their behind-the-scenes “it’s easier to do it myself” energy.

Once upon a time … or more than once on any summer evening … you can happen across that archetypal summer activity: the BBQ. “Let’s have a BBQ. That’s easy. We’ll just throw a few sausages on the fire. No bother. We’ll crack open a few beers or sample the local vino – and that’ll be great.” Quick – make sure that the BBQ fairy is listening. She won’t be wearing the risque apron, the chef’s hat, or brandishing the BBQ fork… but without her magic, it’ll just be another long night of hanging around waiting for carbonated dead animals, with the risk of slowly simmered salmonella carrying the party through your guts through the night into the cold light of porcelain dawn.

Yes, it’s the BBQ fairy who makes sure there is charcoal and matches, prepares the salads and the desserts, makes sure the kids are fed and entertained, pre-cooks the chicken drumsticks in the oven … She might even take the pictures of everyone having a good time.

And it’s the BBQ fairy who cleans up afterwards. Because contrary to popular belief, there is no such thing as a self-cleaning BBQ rack. Just the BBQ fairy.

But what happens when the BBQ fairy decides she’s had enough – and it’s time for the “reveal” – to show to others that their belief in the BBQ fairy is just a self-serving delusion.

Let’s take a short detour into the challenges of managing delusions, beliefs and projections. Is the BBQ fairy revealing her role just so that she can pass over the responsibility to someone else, so that they now have to become the BBQ fairy? Or is it so that everyone will step up to take on collective responsibility for ensuring an equitable division of responsibility, recognition, and respect?

Confession time: I have to put my hand up and admit that, from time to time, I suffer from the mega-delusion of acting like the BBQ fairy, but not wanting to be trapped by that role. So I believe my role is to educate others into confronting their delusions.

So life decided to set me an anthropological test this summer. I had plenty of helpers and students and interns around. Clear roles and defined responsibilities, I thought. I cooked BBQ sausages as a meal – low key, no desserts, no salads, no kids, minimal beer and vino. And I put the BBQ racks in one of the kitchen sinks.

Two days later the racks were still there, still dirty. And I revealed the delusion of the self-serving belief in the BBQ fairy. And thus the phrase was made manifest – THERE IS NO BARBECUE FAIRY.

Unless of course you are a guest at Chateau Colombier. And then her energies, her care and her attention to detail are the values, the warmth and the wisdom that we hope transcend the day-to-day to give you the welcome and the experience you deserve.

Flashing the lycra

Written on Sunday, August 22nd, 2010 at 2:52 pm

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The Tour de France might not have raced past our doors this year, but 2010 has certainly been the year of the cycling visitors to Chateau Colombier. With the amazing cycling terrain that surrounds the house, not to mention the challenge of the iconic Mont Ventoux, it’s no surprise they come flocking (or should that be pedalling?) to our door.

Petrina and Simone take the prize for the longest journey of road bikes – brought with them from Brisbane via Paris on plane, train and van (supporter kudos to Sue Ann who drew the short straw of driving the transit van through narrow Provencal roads, on the wrong side, while jet-lagged). Though It was May, the weather wasn’t kind to them, but it didn’t stop the girls doing trips of up to 100km a day, sheltering from the rain in local bistros with hearty lunches and pastis to warm them up. You don’t often get Aussie girls around the roads here – they put the local Sunday cyclists to shame. And of course, they conquered Mont Ventoux. Plenty of eating and drinking also took place – and shopping on non-cycling days.

An unexpected outcome was that they seduced Eleanor into Australia as a destination for her post-study trip this September, where she intends to sample the surfing on Bonzai beach.

Holger takes the prize for the longest cycle ride to get here this year – forgoing a week of choir summer camp to ride from Heidelberg to Chateau Colombier in just 7 days; completing the final etape from Grenoble to here in a single day.

Dominic has taken up cycling with true gusto, and swapped his single gear London bike for a road bike hired from our great cycle shop / garage in Aubres (Bouchonaux). Lizzie hired a more robust “sit up and beg” bike – but still pedalled up the hills all for the reward of the free-wheeling adrenaline-inducing descents. Then Lizzie went back to London and Ash arrived – but Dom managed to break him, as Ash got over confident on the final bend into the car parking and crashed onto the gravel. Strains and bruises; or was this a cunning plan to be able to stay in the cool of the summer office (the outside verandah) hacking code on the computer?

I think I deserve a consolation prize – or a wooden spoon – for at least having a go. I never learnt to cycle as a child, and despite various attempts as an adult, I just don’t have the confidence – or the motivation. Not to mention that my physique has more in common with Michelin man than Lance Armstrong or Alberto Contador. Nevertheless, I drove to meet Dom and Lizzie on a quiet (flat) stretch of road in Curnier and managed about 10 minutes of fear-inducing push starts, wobbling and emergency stops. If I hadn’t been concentrating so hard it would have been funny watching Dom run beside me shouting words of encouragement. I didn’t fall off but if truth be told what I most enjoyed was finishing the ordeal. I’ll stick to the zen of swimming, thank you, and cooking to fuel the real cyclists’ hungry muscles.

Luckily, cycling here doesn’t have to be a competition. The house bikes are just as regularly brought out for the bread-run to the local boulangerie in preparation for a hard day of choosing a book from the library to read by the pool.

The Aussie cycle routes (no sat-nav, no maps, just simple lists of of the route:

Ride one
Les Pilles
Nyons
Mirabel-aux-Baronnies
Mollans-sur-Ouveze
Pierrelongue
Buis-les-Baronnies
Sainte-Jalle
Curnier
Les Pilles

Ride two
Les Pilles
Curnier
Eroyles
St-Ferreol-Trentes-Pas
L’Estellon
Bourieves
Gumaine
Cornillon-Sur-L’Oule
Remuzat
St-May
Sahune
Curnier
Les Pilles

Ride Three
Les Pilles
Chateuuneuf de Bordette
Mirabel-aux-Baronnies
Villedieu
St Roman de Malegarde
Cairanne
Camaret
Orange
N7 then D976 to to Les Pilles

Ride Four
Les Pilles
Mirabel-aux-Baronnies
Vaison la Romanie
Malaucene
Bedoin
Mt Ventoux and then back the same way to Les Pilles

Dom and Lizzie’s warm up:
Chateau Colombier, les Pilles, Curnier, Chateau Colombier
Dom and Lizzie’s favourite:
Chateau Colombier to Chateauneuf de Bordette, to Mirabel, to Nyons and back
Dom and Ash’s challenge:
Chateau Colombier, Condorcet, St Ferreol, Gorge de Trente Pas, and to the top of the Col.

Do come and add your cycle routes to the Chateau Colombier favourites and the Mont Ventoux roll of honour.

where’s that recipe when you want it?

Written on Friday, July 9th, 2010 at 11:55 pm

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We’re sitting in the cool library indulging in an activity that often consumes members of our family – looking through recipe books. We started by looking up recipes for chilled soups for a celebration party on Sunday (for Ele’s birthday and completion of her Doctorate). But which book is hiding the recipe for the lavender marinade for bbq chicken?

It’s nowhere to be seen – but I’m sure that we can make it up.

I’m happy that my faithful Delia has a recipe for Black Forest Gateau (a bit of retro always goes down well). But from the faces E is pulling at a vintage 1980 Time Life Snacks and Canapes book – we won’t be going down the route of cheese pinwheels (to quote: a scultptured mound, fancifully garnished …”) and many other “delicacies” that have decidedly not stood up to the test of time.

Le vieux village, Condorcet

Written on Friday, February 5th, 2010 at 3:44 pm

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Our walk took us past the vieux village and chateau above Condorcet, yesterday. The local department is continuing to take care of its heritage – and its mission to inform and enlighten visitors. So it was good to see a couple of panneaux giving the history of the village and the chateau.

I hadn’t known that it was originally set up as an offshoot of the Monastery of Cluny in Burgundy. But I did know its associations with the Marquis de Condorcet, who though an aristocrat was pro-equality – including the emancipation of slaves and of women.

And there’s a view of Mont Ventoux from the site as well.

2010 – here we come

Written on Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010 at 4:25 pm

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February is still mid winter in Provence. I managed to miss all the snow – it seems that an almost unheard of 30 cms of snow fell amongst the European snows of January. But today is bright and sunny, with just a light icing-sugar coating of the white stuff hidden away in cracks and crevices on the surrounding hills. Perhaps I’ll take the car out for a mountain drive at the weekend? Or perhaps I’ll just sit in the garden – well wrapped up – with a good book.

Fortunately, the garden and the house seem to have survived the wintry weather. Soon spring will mean that I’ve got to be out gardening, not sitting around.

There was a wonderful sunset over Nyons yesterday evening (en route to see the Coen Brothers A Serious Man) – and trusted iphone in hand, here’s a view of the witchy fingers of the pollarded plane trees.

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Chateau Colombier does permaculture – day one

Written on Saturday, October 3rd, 2009 at 2:12 pm

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We’re delighted that Caitlin has travelled all the way from Los Angeles to give us a week’s worth of her help as a permaculture expert.

I’m converted already! I had thought that I was being lazy when I pruned or weeded and just left the debris around the plants. Nope – that’s one of the secrets of permaculture. If the plant has grown it, cutting it back and leaving the cuttings around the plant lets the nutrients back into the soil.

I’ve already been a happy composter – but this takes composting out of the pile and under the mulch. And now – I don’t have to think about the chore of pruning, deadheading or weeding. I’m doing permaculture composting and mulching.

No more waiting for horse manure to rot down for a year – you just water it and spread it along with the fresh cuttings, cardboard etc.

Pictures and more learnings to follow.

Have you written a cookery book?

Written on Friday, September 11th, 2009 at 8:37 pm

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That was one of tonight’s flattering comments during dinner. Another was that it was the best food that he’d eaten in France.

No, I haven’t written a cook book – yet! But I am intending to keep a record of meals (and recipes here). So perhaps the book will write itself. And I’ll add photos as and when.

So today’s lunch menu included goats cheese and caramelised onion quiche (flavoured with thyme) served with beetroot and orange salad, and a plate of home grown tomatoes dressed with local olive oil and basil.

Dinner was started with sorrel soup (from the garden; and as the nights are now getting cooler it was the first warm soup for months). Then on to chicken with mozzarella and basil/pesto, wrapped in prosciutto (or equivalent). I’ve found the secret here is to prepare the chicken breasts by poaching them in seasoned stock. Let them cool then assemble them. It means you don’t end up carbonising the ham while trying to ensure that the chicken is cooked. Also, you can do a lot of the preparation in advance – essential if you’re single-handed in the kitchen.

This was served with Tipiak – a mixed grain a bit like couscous; and fresh ratatouille. Cheese – with grapes from the vine; then the autumn apple and cinnammon special.

Yesterday we started with spiced pumpkin and feta verrines served with pumpkin muffin; then lemon and thyme flavoured veal medallions served on with goats cheese and onion ravioli, and braised carrots. Cheese board. Then profiteroles – some with a chocolate filling, some with vanilla creme.

Now all I’ve got to do is the washing up! Where’s a sous-chef when you need them?

Apple and cinammon september special

Written on Wednesday, September 9th, 2009 at 4:38 pm

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Eleanor and Vikki have been putting their procrastination skills to use in the kitchen (they just corrected me to VERY good procrastination skills to VERY good use).

Amongst the freezer-load of muffins and cupcakes we have a variety with apple and cinammon added to the basic yoghurt cake mix (with a sprinkle topping of crystallised cinnamon sugar). Good on their own for breakfast and picnics. But they also work really well as a dessert:

Fry rounds of apple in butter/brown sugar and cinnamon until cooked and caramelised. Allow to cool a little. Assemble:
vanilla creme anglaise, slice of apple, and top with an apple and cinnamon cupcake (yes, take it out of its paper first! warm through gently in the oven or microwave). Add a dusting of cinnamon icing sugar and a sprig of somthing green from the herb garden.

I’ll be serving it to the next walking group table d’hote in a couple of weeks time.

Salon literaire tea-party

Written on Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 at 6:53 pm

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The tea-party guests de-invited themselves at the last moment, but Rachel was already in baking mood so we carried on regardless. All quite different – all very scrummy.

Sun-dried Tomato, Olive and Basil Bread
(source – the lady, July 2009 from Lazy Days and Beach Blankets, Ryland Peters and Small)

SUN-DRIED TOMATO, OLIVE AND BASIL BREAD

SERVES 6

6oz (175g) plain flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
3 large eggs
3½ floz (100ml) olive oil
3½ oz (100ml) milk
3½ oz (100g) mature Gruyere cheese, grated
3½ oz (100g) sun-dried tomatoes in oil, drained and roughly chopped
2½ oz (60g) stoned black olives marinated with herbs, roughly chopped
a small handful of basil leaves, roughly sliced
sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

You will also need:
a 8¼ inch (21cm) x 4¼ inch (11cm) non-stick loaf tin, lightly greased and floured

1. Pre-heat the oven to 180C/350˚F or Gas 4.
2. Sift the flour with the baking powder and season well with salt and black pepper. Whisk the eggs and whisk in the milk and oil. Tip two-thirds of the liquid into the flour, beat well then add remaining liquid.
3. Mix in the Gruyère, tomatoes, olives and basil, then tip into the loaf tin. Bake for 50 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean.
4. Leave to cool, remove from the tin and wrap in aluminium foil. Keep in the fridge.
5. Serve at room temperature, sliced and cut into halves or squares. You could also serve a plate of chunky, handcut slices of salami to eat with your fingers.

Lavender Shortbread
(source – the Lady, July 2009)

75g caster sugar, plus extra for sprinkling
175 g butter
1 tblspoon fresh chopped lavender flowers
175g plain flor
75g cornflour, ground rice or fine semolina
shallow backing tin 27 x 18 cm

Preheat oven to 150C/300F/gas 2
Food process sugar and butter till light and fluffy
Add lavender flowers and whizz again
Add half flour and pulse to incorporate, then add rest of flour and pulse again
Add cornflour and pulse (cornflour = smoother; groun rice or semolina = more crumbly and rustic)
Bring together with hands
Sparek onto baking tin, mark it with shortknife into 18 squares and prick lightly with fork
Bake 40 to 45 mins till pale gold; sprinkle with caster sugar, and cooke for another 5 mins
Remove from oven, cool for 10 mins in tin; cut into pieces, remove from tin with palette knife onto rack to cool.
Store in air-tight tin

Rich Fruit Loaf

This recipe comes from my classic Cooking in Colour by Marguerite Pattern. First published 1960 – my copy is the fourth edition published 1974. Recipe number 811

The published recipe calls for candied peel – we used chopped dried prunes (we had them in the cave). I’m never afraid to substitute ingredients (within reason). And on second or third baking will start to play around with spices and flavourings.

100g butter
1kg plain flour (we used an organic wheat flour type 110 – it was almost a very fine brown flour)
pinch salt
125 g currants
125 g sultanas
75 g prunes (we probably used more)
50 – 75 g sugar
really good 25g of fresh yeast (and yes, we found fresh yeast at the boulangerie)
2 eggs
425 ml tepid milk or milk and water
2 tablespoons sugar and water to glaze

Rub butter into sieved flour and salt. Add fruit and all but 1 teaspoon sugar.
Cream yeast with teaspoon of sugar, add to the beaten egs and warm milk and leave for 10 minutes in warm place till frothy
Add to the rest of the ingredients and mix to a dough
Knead on floured board
Leave to rise till doubled in size
Put into 2 large load tins (actually we used 2 x sprung bottom round cake tins)
Leave to prove 20 mins
Bake in centre of hot oven 425 – 450 F, 220 – 230 C, gas 6 – 7, reducing the heat after first 10 mins to 375F/190C/Gas 5, for 40 – 50 mins.
Brush with glaze made with sugar and water as soon as the loaves come of the oven.
Cool on wire tray.

Summer Sun and Autumn Leaves – Special Offers

Written on Monday, August 17th, 2009 at 3:00 pm

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If you’ve been in cooped up in sun-starved Northern Europe, why not make the most of a break to sun-drenched Provence.

Don’t take a rain-check – book your last-minute bargain break today.

From 22 August – 15th September come and stay at Chateau Colombier at the fantastic low rate of 1,200 euros per week for up to 6 people. Each further guest 120 euros per head. Self-catering.

Or come anytime from 22nd August – 15th September for a mini-break at just 60 euros per ensuite double room, with breakfast; table d’hote available as required.

Do a mix and match. We’re as flexible as you need us to be.

Or 20% OFF WEBSITE PRICES 26th September – 31st October. Quoete “Autumn Leaves”

Bring your hiking boots and get out walking; hire a bike and follow the route of the Tour de France. Explore the markets … visit the vineyards … relax by the pool.

The crowds have gone. But we invite you to share one of the best seasons in our little corner of Paradise.

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